I have several articles scheduled for publication, but I could not find in myself to press ‘publish’ on anything else but #BlackLivesMatter #EndRacismNow.
I figured I would let my fingers cry onto this page – some random words strung together – I hope you would find some meaning in between them.
They tell me to be extra careful. They tell me that my life is hard enough because I have a heart condition and I am on a waiting list for a heart transplant, living abroad on the wrong side of the Atlantic Ocean.
But what is the point of life, when my African Dream brought me to the US, far away from my family? and now, I am stuck? Hanging on to life by a pump?
What is the point of all of this, when I see the worries of my grandfather in my son’s eyes?
What is the point, when I can feel the frustrations of my grandmothers in my sons’ little claws?
What is the point, when I can hear the pains of my brothers and sisters in their screams?
One thing I know is that “A Son Never Forgets”. And there would come that time when he would ask himself – ‘but, but, what did My Daddy live for? What did Daddy die for? What did Daddy fight for? What did Daddy stand for? What did my Daddy fall for? What did Daddy do?
I do know that I am dealing with heart failure and that would be the case for the rest of my life. At the same time, please know that I feel so complete. So complete that, even when you cannot hear me speak, you can see and feel me through my smile. And when my earthly host is carried home, I will live on through memories and be reborn.
Never forget that I kept my promise – I may have a heart condition, but I never let the condition have me, Never.
But, to be frank, my mind is more concerned with what my people have been going through (FOREVER, NOW), here in the USA, back home (Mali, Senegal), and many other places across the World. In just a few weeks, we have been reminded of how we are seen and how much we are valued, in 2020!? Different years, same matters!
All I am going through, what does it all mean? I don’t know.
But, understand that these boys, the seeds that we see grow are mini visions of we. My trials and tribulations are much bigger than me. I am trying to see them grown to become lions of their own. Lions that will be writing their own stories. Lions that history will acknowledge and glorify versus the hunter. I would give the remainder of my heart if I thought that would help you to see and believe in…
Until the lion learns how to write, every story will glorify the hunter – Chinua Achebe
p.s.: I was not trying to make sense. I do not know what I am just feeling right now. And, I fear where thinking would take me.
Oh, wait!? maybe, I should listen to some music – some Sam Cooke and some Grand Corps Malade.
To be organized and cleaned-up, Maybe – To be continued….
#LaVieoulamortnousvaincrons #LifeorDeath #WeShallOvercome #ChangeNow #Howmanymore #Enough #EndRacism #heartofagiant